Heavy Hearts…

Today the sun doesn’t shine as brightly.  The hummingbirds around my feeders are few.  The simple joy of life has been silenced;  even though the cicada’s are noisy, there seems to be a strange absence of the cheerful song of birds.  Indeed, the world seems to know there is mourning in the air and a devastating silence has fallen on our town.

It’s difficult to make sense of tragedy.  Those of us left, who have been touched by the lives of the ones who are no longer with us spend countless hours trying to make sense of the events.  We search for answers, even though there simply may not be any.  I think we speculate because we are desperately trying to avoid the same fate.  To take a road that is different, to learn from others.  After all, how can we not look at any given tragedy and keep from traveling down the trail that questions how someone else ended up there?  I think it is human nature, because we recognize how fragile life is and how easy it is to end up in the same place.

Our community lost a family on Tuesday in a brutal way.  A mother and three children, reported as a murder/suicide.  A family who touched so many lives with their kind and gentle nature.  It is difficult to wrap your head around when we hear things like this.  One of the kids was a classmate of Bugs for nine years.  The catholic school they attended came together last night in the most beautiful way to support each other.  I am grateful to have forged this relationship with this community and find that even after leaving for high school, we are all still there for one another.

I can’t begin to imagine the pain the remaining family members must feel.  I wonder what God’s purpose is in all of this.  The oldest son was quiet and well liked at school.  Social media has played a part in disseminating information (my son found out at school from a classmate, as did many other of the classmates) as well as documenting their family life on FB, something that has only served to create more confusion.  Happiness seemed to be the order of the day from the snapshots observed.  We’ve become a society that is very adept at hiding and stuffing our feelings.  The clues that something is wrong are harder to detect.  Until it becomes quite clear that all is not well.  And then, it is sometimes too late.

Seneca (1st c. AD), “Altissima quaeque flumina minimo sono labi” which translates to, “the deepest rivers flow with the least sound”.  May you find Peace and Solace in Gods arms in the Heavens above.  Your joy and light will be missed by many.

This entry was posted in life lessons, murder/suicide, sadness, shootings, tragedy, wisdom and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Heavy Hearts…

  1. …very very sad indeed. May they rest in peace.

  2. How sad! You have written a beautiful post in the memory of those lost.

  3. B. says:

    Well said. When words are hard to find, you managed to find the right ones.

  4. What a horror! You never know what is happening behind closed doors. A terrible tragedy for all around.

  5. sayvan says:

    Not sure whether to push the “like” button or not. Somethings never make sense…. no matter how much we analyze!

  6. Oh Arnel, I am so sorry. Such a terrible tragedy. A friend lives on the same road (She is a single mother of three children who attend the local elementary school). I was frightened for her and her children, until I heard with relief they weren’t the victims. News such as this makes you stop and take stock. You are right. The entire community is affected when such an event occurs. I’m thinking of you and the family involved.

  7. robincoyle says:

    I can’t hit “like” on this tragic story. It pains me to think of the senseless loss of life at the hands of a loved one. I don’t understand the despair someone must feel to kill or take their own life. Such young promise of a beautiful life ahead, taken away in an instant. I hope you, your family, and your community somehow find peace with this tragedy.

  8. jmgoyder says:

    Oh I am so sorry.

  9. There is definitely no way to make sense of horrible tragedies like this. I didn’t even know these people, but my heart feels so heavy after reading your blog. Hugs to you and your family!!

  10. faithfulnibbles says:

    It is so was that a family ends in this tragic and so very sad way. This is certainly not what God envisioned when they were given life however I know that He understood better than any of us the despair that this mom must have suffered to do such a tragic thing. How hopeless she must have felt.

    You have done a beautiful job with just the right words to capture this feelings of your town. I pray for your son who was a classmate of one if the children and for your community. May God touch lives and fill your community with the peace that only He can give.

  11. faithfulnibbles says:

    My heart is sad to read of this tragedy. How hopeless thus mother must have felt to take the lives of her children as well as her own. I cannot comprehend this type of despair but I know that my beloved Lord Jesus does.

    As someone earlier said, I cannot bring myself to hit like, however you have written a great piece using just the right words to speak to and capture the impact of this event on your family and your community.

    I am praying for you son who was a classmate of one of the sons, for the family of the deseased and for your community. My the Lord Jesus sustain and keep each one and may He provide Hope and Peace as only He can do.

  12. faithfulnibbles says:

    My heart is sad to read of this tragedy. How hopeless this mother must have felt to take the lives of her children as well as her own. I cannot comprehend this type of despair but I know that my beloved Lord Jesus does.

    As someone earlier said, I cannot bring myself to hit like, however you have written a great piece using just the right words to speak to and capture the impact of this event on your family and your community.

    I am praying for you son who was a classmate of one of the sons, for the family of the deseased and for your community. My the Lord Jesus sustain and keep each one and may He provide Hope and Peace as only He can do.

    • The shooter was not the mother, it was the oldest son. I think he suffered from depression, but do not know any details. He was quiet and well liked in school, a couple of years ahead of my oldest, and the siblings of his classmates were all friends with his sister who was in the same grade as my oldest. They were all friends, really. I can’t understand any of it, really.

  13. Roly says:

    This is so sad. It is always a shock and our usual question is why? I can’t understand any of it :(

  14. danbohmer says:

    That is terribly sad news.

  15. When I read news like this, it breaks my heart..
    I hope Bugs is okay..and my thoughts are with your community, your family and the family they left behind.
    May they rest in peace.

  16. How awful to be in the midst of such sadness….It is so hard to understand…Diane

  17. Lynne Ayers says:

    How horribly sad and tragic. It is something that will stay with everyone it touched. The quote you chose is very appropriate.

  18. elisaruland says:

    This story breaks my heart. I have tried to teach our children to seek to understand, because you never know what goes on behind closed doors. However, no one expects this type of horror. I hope you, your family and your community heal quickly from this tragedy.

    • Thank you Elisa. The funeral was last night, and it was tough. I would guess somewhere around 800 in attendance. Painful, but liberating. In the get together across the hall afterward they had a slideshow running with a timeline of pics of the kids and the family. That was what did most people in. Even the guys stubbled to remain stoic. It was obvious by the turnout they were well loved. We have had more in depth discussions about this in our own home as well. Such a tragedy and I still can’t make sense of it. Probably never will.
      Thanks for stopping by.

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