Things You Never Say to Your Mother

There are some things you never say to your mother.  For instance, “Where’d you get that dress?” with a frown is never well received.  Or, how about, “I like hugging you ’cause you’re soft and squishy.”  “Wow!  You eat a LOT!” is equally disturbing, unless it’s from a five year old.

The mother of all things not to say is, “What do you do all day?” In the same conversation as, “Why can’t you do all my laundry and cook every meal for me?”  I wonder if they’d also like turn down service with a chocolate mint on their pillow. (Not that I could ever actually get to their bed).

Now readers, this is where I need your help.  After this conversation with my almost 16 year old, I couldn’t help but wonder, am I expecting too much?  I cook dinner most ever night.  I didn’t think it was asking too much to ask them to get their own breakfast.  After all, it’s not rocket science to operate the microwave or the toaster.  Roo and Buzzard can even make eggs.  I really feel it’s important for boys to know how to cook, but Bugs absolutely does not share my enthusiasm on this point.

In the unfolding of this conversation, Bugs revealed that he thought I should get up and cook a big breakfast every weekend.  Say what?  We had a nice little talk.  A talk in which I explained to him that if I should feel appreciated for all the things I do for them, then I would gladly do more.  But the batting average in this house is a big fat zero, which is not likely to motivate anyone to go out of their way to do extra for the inhabitants, least of all me.

I went on to say that when I started feeling appreciated by way of them pitching in, and the occasional verbal thank you’s, then I would be happy go out of my way.  Until such time, I remain firmly on the existing path. 

So what do you all think?  Is it too much to expect?  Or am I doing the right thing?

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5 Responses to Things You Never Say to Your Mother

  1. Carrie McNamara says:

    I agree totally. Trying to get the kids to understand that they need to take part in their well being is never ending around here. Just this morning I took Madeline to school while setting an alarm for Sam to get up “on his own” and take a shower and be ready to the day upon my return. But no, walk in the house and he is laying in bed playing that darn DS. Made the morning not as good as it should have been. And the “I can’t find my whatever” really gets me going!!!

  2. janie says:

    You are doing aboslutely the right thing. How does one teach a child/teen to appreciate what is done? Certainly NOT by doing everything for them. As young adults they NEED to accept responsibility in the house and living with others. How about on weekends THEY fix you a nice breasfast instead of you doing the fixin, after all yu do all the cooking during the week.

  3. Eden says:

    You are absolutely doing the right thing! I stopped making breakfast & school lunches years ago. And we have “yoyo” (you’re on your own) night when we are driving everyone around to different activities and can’t eat dinner as a family. Do you really want your son to be that guy at college who has no idea how to do laundry or make ramen noodles?

  4. kathleen says:

    We all need to help and appreciate our family members more. Good for You!
    Can you talk to my people?

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