Last spring I started drinking this health food drink called shakeology. Many of you may know about it, but it is sold on BeachBody websites as “The Healthiest Meal of the Day.” I have no doubt. Only problem is, when something claims to be the healthiest thing you can drink, it most likely will taste like it too. Think Rene Russo in The Thomas Crown Affair when she pours the green stuff in
the glass and Dennis Leary makes a face and asks, “What is that stuff?” and she looks at him deadpan and says, “You don’t want to know.” Well, this particular concoction has several grasses in it, and the greenberry flavor is sort of a pea green. Appropriate since it also has pea powder. I prefer the chocolate flavor myself, but when mixed with the appropriate things, the greenberry is tolerable.
Well, I had sort of gotten out of the habit of drinking it when I began training for my marathon, because it has a low glycemic index, and since I was burning around 7000 calories a week extra, it just wasn’t working for me. But now that I’ve become a slug again, I thought I should try to “get healthy” and start it up again.
The boys think this is the most vile thing on earth. I love to mess with them, and after blending it up I will frequently hold my glass close to their face and say in an exaggeratedly enticing tone, “Want a drink?” They respond by jerking away as though I was asking them to kiss a live viper, making a face and saying, “No way!”
So this morning it was Bugs I caught, who was already in a bad mood. He frowned even harder and walked away. We got in the car and drove away with me entertaining thoughts of their responses while sucking down the green sludge through my straw (if you smell it when you drink it, you’ll think you’ve become some sort of grazing animal so you have to have a glass with a lid and straw).
So I barely hear on the radio that there is some report about the bill in the house regarding the requirement for women to get an ultrasound before they have an abortion, when Buzzard pipes in, “So, what’s the deal? They want women to get an ultrasound before they get an abortion?”
I can hear the confusion in his voice. Clearly he can’t figure out why congress would want this. “Well,” I say, “What I heard is that they think that if a woman has an ultrasound and actually sees the baby, they will change their mind.” I sound as unconvinced by this line of logic as anyone can, and then add, “It’d be cheaper if they just use birth control.”
Roo, in his undeniable practicality says, “No, what would be the cheapest solution for everyone is abstinence. And after all the STD pictures in health class, that’s not going to be a problem for me.” He then leans slightly forward from the back seat and says shaking his head in disgust, “This one guys pickle and eggs were green! Completely GREEN! How does that happen?”
This of course, morphed into a discussion of all the STD’s. Then Roo says, “What I don’t get is how did it get started if it’s passed by sexual transmission?”
I looked at him in the rear view mirror. “You mean like which came first, the chicken or the egg?”
He looked at me quizzically. I shrugged and said, “That’s a good question,” but what I was really thinking was, like the drink, you REALLY don’t want to know.