I’ve been fairly quiet the last couple of weeks with regards to posting. There are a few reasons for this, the biggest of which has been the murder/suicide of a family we knew from my kids school.
But other things intrude as well, and I admit, I’m not all that adept at handling multiple stresses at the same time. I wonder if God gets tired of my constant streaming of prayers. I wonder if he’s up there saying, “You? Again? Didn’t I make you stronger than that?” At the same time I know He wants us to share our burdens and grief so there is a constant internal struggle going on.
I find I’m snappish with others, especially if I feel they aren’t doing their job to the capacity that I think they should be doing it. This makes me feel inferior that I don’t have more patience, and thus even worse as a child of God who should know better. Add the constant political wars and campaigning going on (we’ve had to ban any political conversations from our house), the uncertainty of the future, feeling like my dad’s estate will never be finalized, worrying about everything life brings to any given family and I’m constantly feeling like I’m drowning.
Yesterday my bible study started up again with a Beth Moore study titled, James, Mercy Triumphs. The great thing about Beth Moore is, she is so easy to identify with. Almost every study I’ve ever done of hers, I felt like I was being nudged by God Himself, that he was talking to me through her. I’m not alone in this. I’ve spoken to many women who feel that way–not to leave you guys out on purpose, but she does women’s studies. In any event, the last year or so, my bible study group has branched out and done other studies as well. Andy Stanley is awesome as well as many others. But this fall, we decided we missed Beth Moore and reinstated her as the bible study we would continue with.
So I was not surprised to feel that sense again, that she was addressing the very things I was struggling with. On the last page of the introduction, she says,
“Have the courage to live under strains and pain to be part of a better story. A larger story. Don’t wimp out.” ~Beth Moore
Is it any wonder that this study happened to come out now? That I resolved to continue with bible study given how I was feeling? That on the very first day, I heard a message that was so loud and clear, and so relevant? No, because I believe that is the mystery of God. I believe that is how He works in our lives. We don’t know when He will reveal Himself to us, and we don’t know how. We just have to have faith that He’s there.
Oh Arnel – my thoughts and prayers with you. I know that sounds trite but I mean it. You are amazing to cope with all of this. Juliexx
Not trite at all. I’m vowing to get my act together and plow on ahead! Hope everything is good where you are!
I don’t think God minds your “streaming of prayers”…. hope not, because he must get them from alot of us 🙂 And Beth Moore is wonderful. Hope you have a really good day.
You too Brooke. Thanks for stopping by! Hope you are doing well.
Your post is a good word for me, as well… It’s been a while since I have read Beth Moore. I should dig it out of my dusty bookshelf and give it another go! 🙂 Be blessed and let God strengthen you!
Thank you for the kind comments. I always feel more centered when I’m reading her. She says, “Branch out! Don’t read only my stuff.” The problem is, her stuff is so great, not much else can compete. 🙂 Have a Blessed Day!
i have never heard of her, but thanks to you, now I have. i love hearing of others struggling as i do with daily stress and issues, and how you over come it. thank you Amy.
When you check her out I hope you like her!
Be gentle with yourself. Death, murder, suicide are huge things to deal with. They may not have been your family, but the feeling it has brought up must be horrifying and sad all at the same time. We will be here. Work through what you must for your own self. You are a strong and worthwhile person. We adore you and so does God.
Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean so much to me. I am taking it slow, and trying to remember to leave my troubles for Him to handle.
When I go to pray I feel the same as you lots of times…wondering what God is thinking of me but then I remember as you do that we are told to bring our petitions and cares to Him and so He knows we will….I’m glad you decided to do the Bible study as it seems relevant for you right now…Diane
Gorgeous photo, Arnel.
I always love that moment that comes, when you feel unworthy, and you receive an unlooked-for affirmation.
Me too! Sometimes I think of that scene in Voyager when Claire is on the back of the ship and she gets the magnificent sunset. Such a great scene, because it’s true! 🙂
God loves us to lean on Him..He doesn’t mind..
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers 🙂 x
Thank you AJ! I appreciate it!
Sorry to hear about the family and other stresses in your life but that was a great post. You make an interesting comment on prayers and if He gets ‘tired’ of hearing from us. I think He is more aware of us and wanting to help us than we know . . . .as evidenced by the experience you shared. 🙂
Thank you HSL. I am feeling much much better. I hope these next weeks get me back in the groove. I have a peace about my life now…
How horrifying! Glad to see you are feeling much better. Take care Arnel.
Your thoughts and honesty humbles and inspire me at the same time. And what a powerful quote from Beth Moore. Words to meditate on. Thank you for sharing. It spoke deeply to me. I’m so glad I came by here today. I really am. Sharon
So glad to have you Sharon! Thank you for your kind words! Have a wonderful day!